Vol. I, No. V
Thanksgiving Newsletter
Dear FOD (Followers of Dean® ),
Thanksgiving is once again upon us, and Dean's followers have once again
demanded more news about Dean's comings and goings.
Will Dean have Turkey on Thanksgiving? Will he pass the Cranberry Sauce?
Pumpkin or Squash?
The questions as usual go on seemingly forever, so Dean who must out of
necessity be closed mouthed about his comings and goings (particularly given
the nature of his Top Priority Employment amongst the Veterans of Our Armed
Forces) will only say this:
Dean is very much just like the rest of you (only smarter) , and just like you, He puts his pants on 3 legs at a time. Though many have envisioned Dean traveling to Nepal to feast on some elaborate ceremonial dinner far beyond the understanding of most, in actuality Dean will be indulging in many of the same customs that the rest of you will be practicing (though Dean will be enjoying himself far more than others will, given the nature of his superior capacities.)
But that's just Dean, being Dean and as usual while Dean would love to
visit your home to sample a bit of your Thanksgiving wares, you realize of
course that would be impossible as frankly, Dean Himself has much much better
things to do with his time, and if He were to visit one or two families (at most)
just think of how disappointed those expectant devotees who weren't Graced by
Dean's Presence would feel.
Dean shudders to even think of how horrible that would be. And while, like most Gods, Dean can be capricious on occasion, he certainly is not cruel.
If there's one thing that Dean wouldn't like to do is to disappoint any of his Followers, particularly those who perhaps are too poor to liberally serve the Grand-Marnier that Dean so favors.
So, Dean will just leave you with his Thanksgiving Benediction, courtesy of
Rhode Island's own Swinging Erudites:
"Golly Gosh!
Holy Smoke!
Fuck em if they Can't Take A Joke!"
Thanksgiving Newsletter
Dear FOD (Followers of Dean® ),
Thanksgiving is once again upon us, and Dean's followers have once again
demanded more news about Dean's comings and goings.
Will Dean have Turkey on Thanksgiving? Will he pass the Cranberry Sauce?
Pumpkin or Squash?
The questions as usual go on seemingly forever, so Dean who must out of
necessity be closed mouthed about his comings and goings (particularly given
the nature of his Top Priority Employment amongst the Veterans of Our Armed
Forces) will only say this:
Dean is very much just like the rest of you (only smarter) , and just like you, He puts his pants on 3 legs at a time. Though many have envisioned Dean traveling to Nepal to feast on some elaborate ceremonial dinner far beyond the understanding of most, in actuality Dean will be indulging in many of the same customs that the rest of you will be practicing (though Dean will be enjoying himself far more than others will, given the nature of his superior capacities.)
But that's just Dean, being Dean and as usual while Dean would love to
visit your home to sample a bit of your Thanksgiving wares, you realize of
course that would be impossible as frankly, Dean Himself has much much better
things to do with his time, and if He were to visit one or two families (at most)
just think of how disappointed those expectant devotees who weren't Graced by
Dean's Presence would feel.
Dean shudders to even think of how horrible that would be. And while, like most Gods, Dean can be capricious on occasion, he certainly is not cruel.
If there's one thing that Dean wouldn't like to do is to disappoint any of his Followers, particularly those who perhaps are too poor to liberally serve the Grand-Marnier that Dean so favors.
So, Dean will just leave you with his Thanksgiving Benediction, courtesy of
Rhode Island's own Swinging Erudites:
"Golly Gosh!
Holy Smoke!
Fuck em if they Can't Take A Joke!"